TIFFANY'S STORY in her own words

Often I’ve struggled to recognize myself with all the loss and pain in my entire being.

Every family members birthday, every father’s day, every Christmas, every single holiday is more painful than the last.

My father was a dream come true as I said it to him as I put my last yellow Texas rose onto his casket as it lowered into the earth.

I've no idea where to begin. I could easily say I've had the best life because of the father that God gave me but it was even better than that. This impact statement has taken me too long to complete because it is near impossible to describe how this has affected my life completely and indefinitely. There will never be explained all that could be explained. Anyone who knows me knows I worship my parents and would do anything for them. I would give anything to have my dad here. 

I remember learning to swim with him when I was approximately 3 years old and my sisters swimming around us. I remember playing sports since I was 5. My dad and I practiced after he came home from work. He always was happy to practice with me.  He always guided me and cheered me on. We had so much fun together.  He was fun to be around and brought a stability and calmness that is unparalleled. He always played along with me at restaurants when my sisters walked around and I stayed doing math questions he would give me while he and my mom talked. I would come to find many years later that a lot of my interests turned out to be very similar to his. My father was an amazing scholar with an overwhelming academic and professional career his entire life. My parents both uniquely cared so much about us girls, they treated us so great nobody could imagine. They gave us the most ridiculously amazing Christmas's with gifts galore but it was always about seeing how happy they were to love us. They brought us to work, showed us by example how to live. My father's sense of humor was witty, silly, dry, logical, and usually about Texas. My father loved to spoil us with clothes, cars, animals, and his time. He never had to tell us what not to do. He made sure we went to church our whole childhood.

 

He wanted the best for us and the best future. I followed my dad's every word and move only because I respected and trusted him completely and I just simply liked who he was. He taught me chess. He taught us how to shoot guns. He showed and taught me so much about business, history, people, cars, how to fix things or put things together, health, etc. He knew everything about physics, history, astronomy, engineering, and had a very keen sense of good and bad. I always had him to ask if I wanted to know anything. I know him so well and what he would say and do. He showed and told me how a man treats a woman he loves. He had so much more to live for. He was going to live to be 97-100. That wasn't an unforeseeable idea as he was in great shape for someone even 20 years his junior. 

My dad literally was my closest family member and I was so privileged to have that  bond throughout my entire life. I followed him like a duck in tow everywhere and listened to everything he said. Ironically, I loved my father so very much and just like a parent loves a child and would do anything for him. I would rip my heart out for my dad but I wasn't given that chance when that person killed him. 
I made specific life choices to be around my parents for the majority of my adult life. I was hugely involved in my parent's businesses. Us three were a really good team together. His presence and offering to our lives was critical for so many reasons I can hardly describe as I struggle each day to survive that he was killed, how he was violently killed, and treated in the aftermath. Treated inhumanely like the seemingly insignificant road kill of a bird. This will not happen to my father.

My father had a most respectful, patient, calm and collected way of communicating. Obviously it is looking back on our life that blows me away more than I already knew how lucky I am and was to have him as my dad. Each day still after 2 plus years thousand of people, family, friends, neighbors, and customers are still mourning and still finding out what took place that Sunday on November 15th. 

It is not possible to fully describe what a joy my dad was in my life everyday each day all day. He was the one person for me that I related to the most in this life. He was the only person that will ever offer me unconditional love, guidance, and protection. Not one day did I ever take that for granted.  Not one day. I would have lunch with my dad everyday and thank God that my parents were ok and how lucky of a life I was given from God. How proud I was of my father for being who he was. My father was catered to his whole life from his mother, his older sisters to myself and my mother yet he was the most pleasant person to get along with. He never expected anything and always was appreciative. My goal everyday was to always make things as nice as possible and to always be right there if my mother or father were ever in trouble. I had so many plans for my family and ran out of time because my father was unnecessarily killed by a person not permitted to drive, not capable of driving, and was protected by the law against the law. 

My soul is always with my beautiful perfect father. I feel I'm living without organs in my body. It has been the biggest honor to be one of his daughters and I've to endure the greatest pain every waking moment knowing not only was my precious father unnecessarily killed but it was absurdly violent and more than unjust. The way the "authorities" chose to handle this perfect man, I called my dad's murder was nothing short of the most criminal outrageous disgusting evil decisions that could be made. My father being a dream come true for any child will not be overshadowed by the biggest mistake of a publicly self proclaimed satan spawn paige dembow nor to be overshadowed by bold and intentional neglect from the "authorities" to protect and serve killers for fear of their own job security. 

I can't live without my dad and I can't go on but I strive to make him proud and happy. It's indescribably difficult  to keep myself in line then, now, and for the rest of my days here. It is only my faith in God, my respect for the life I was given, and the abnormal strength and ability to hear my dad advise me. He tells me they are not worth my life. He assures me we will succeed and his legacy will never be stomped on like a fly. He tells me that he is with us and that when I see him it will seem like yesterday that I saw him last. This isn't good enough for me. The way this happened will only dictate their unfortunate future for miserably failing to do their jobs as human beings. The unlivable pain of losing my perfect dad has been multiplied by a trillion how this has been handled.  As though his life was insignificant. Simply evil and inhumane. I feel alone in being up against injustice and permitting killers and perpetrators to be untouchable.  I know it will happen sooner or later. Because of their blatant and deliberate neglect of protecting or serving the public they have set their own precedence that there are no laws and to protect and serve the innocent and killed has no merit. 

The mental despair is immeasurable. Living and breathing in a complete overwhelmed state is impossible but I'm alive and trying. I continue to struggle with the physical ongoing  varying pains in my gut, heart, head, jittery hands, and extreme stress to my entire body. It's like learning to accept for the remainder of my time here I am walking upside down backwards with a broken leg and with a sword in my back while being forced to run a marathon. The psychological demand to get thru each day feels impossible. The mental despair as I attempt to maintain their businesses in his role is unlivable. I'm almost certain this has shortened my life. The thousands of lives that my father touched and protected in this town for 40 years are a small testament to the exceptional person he was and is. This feels a war of good and evil with evil in the lead. All I can tell myself is the war isn't over. Let me end this by saying my father was a dream come true and his precious soul and body deserved infinitely more respect than how they manipulated and intentionally allowed his violent and reckless death to happen with no recourse.